Its obvious every air traveler has an airport Alta-ego they tend to display consciously or unconsciously. And some of these characters can be seen anywhere in the world at the airport terminals. Lets check them out.
The Complainers
These set of travellers will always have something going wrong from their end and end up causing a scene just to lay a complaint or seek for direction. You see them waving around their arms with some crumpled up paper or documents and someone in this group will be in tears.
The Early Birds
These folks are not about to take any chances so they arrive at the airport as early as 3am, when their flight is not scheduled to leave until 10am.
Late Arrivals
The set of travellers who would always arrive late and are seen running frantically like headless chickens around the airport, and pleading with fellow passengers to help them skip the queue. They can be so annoying.
Over Excited Kids
The kids who are overly excited because of the journey either for vacation or to visit grand parents,they are quite happy and chirpy, and sometimes uncontrollable. By the time you get to duty free you lose count of all of the lost children announcements on the tannoy.
Stressed Parents
Always wearing backpacks, trying desperately to collapse a stroller and carrying a Peppa Pig book under their arm. And most likely regretting bringing their spawn along, and wishing that they had dumped them with the grandparents instead.
Honeymoon Couples
The so in love, so happy travellers for their honeymoon and they annoy all of the other travellers by getting the special treatment. Easily identifiable as they are the couple holding hands, looking into one another’s eyes and whispering sweet nothings and also taking pictures.
The Slay Girls
Most likely wearing towering wedges, with big hair and a cheeky coating of fake tan for the pre-holiday glow. They will be guilty for causing a commotion in security as one of them didn’t put all of her lipsticks in the liquids bag.
The Drunk
Not judging if a glass or three of vino helps pass the hours inflight. In fact, we raise a glass to it. Or a plastic, depending on which class/airline you’ve stumped for. But then there’s that person who takes it too far. They’re doing the wine sampling at 7.30am, accumulating tiny bottles of Scotch and justifying mid-morning martinis with “it’s cocktial time somewhere”. And now with a couple of litres of 86 per cent proof “charm” onboard, he will invariably try to flirt with the eye-rolling flight attendant. Because they really enjoy it when that happens.
The heartbroken
The solo travellers who have just left a relationship. Red eyes, carrying a self-help book, and a mixture of sadness and loneliness. Tinged with a determination to sleep with someone else quickly.
The shopper
What better way to wile away the hours between flights than with a lash of retail therapy? Having justified the purchases to themselves on the duty-free rationale, they are festooned with Gucci, Hermes, Dior and more. And we’re not talking little bags either. You could comfortably fit a toddler in each. Weirdly enough, there is often a grim determination about the process of dropping thousands of dollars between boarding gates. But like they say: if you can afford Coach, you don’t fly it.
The bickers
There is something about airports that exposes the fault lines in any relationship. Don’t care whether you’re in the hormone-fuelled glow of honeymoon or have racked up anniversaries which can be measured in precious metals. One partner is always galumphing ahead while the other is staring at the departures board and yelling “Barry you’re going the wrong way. We’re supposed to be in Terminal 3.”
THE errant Dad
Travelling with kids is tough. Respect to anyone who braves the long haul. But there is a type of man whose faculties desert him after the eight-hour mark and will literally do anything to make his children compliant for the rest of the journey. He’s plying them with giant Toblerones and cola at what their body clock says is 3am, blithely ignoring the M-ratings on the movies they’re watching and catching justified hell from his partner who knows that a few minutes of sugar high now is going to turn into an almighty tantrum later.
The influencer
Looking artfully wistful and thoroughly preoccupied by her next choice of filter, this floppy-hatted traveller has one follower who is way more important than the rest. Why? Because his job is to literally follow her through the concourse with a video camera while she pretends there is no-one following her with a video camera.
Mr. walk and talk
This man (and it’s always a man) wants the world to know he is a busy career man who lives and breathes business. He’s so busy he doesn’t even have time to put the phone to his ear – that’s what the Airbuds/earpiece is for. For some reason, his conversation is so vital that he does not only needs to broadcast it to everyone else in the lounge but it needs to be conducted in motion. No mere sitting still for this dynamo.
The lycra Queen
Gone are the days when exercise gear was a gym only affair. Turns out it’s so mega-comfy for travelling that you’d be forgiven for thinking there was a Pilates studio in most every major airport. Looked at another way, athleisure has now become such a part of travel that uber brand Lorna Jane now actually has shops in terminals. You know, for those last minute leggings. All of which translates into dozens of Lululemoned travellers who could drop into a downward dog at a moment’s notice. Just add a green juice and the Insta post writes itself.
The Bucks Boy
What was once a long night at the pub has morphed into an even longer weekend in Bali/Samui. And the lads are going to go hard to make Davo’s last weekend of “freedom” a belter. You can tell them before they leave from the beers in the bar no matter what time the flight, the sunglasses propped on their heads throughout the journey day or night, indoors and out and the unrelenting hilarity of putting Davo in a tutu and/or wig. We won’t hazard a guess as to what goes on during these sojourns, but on the way back, it’s all Bintang singlets, the kind of sunburn that would make a dermatologist weep, fake Rolexes and a suspicious itch that might warrant a discreet visit the local STI clinic.